On Friday afternoon I sat down in English Language class next to a girl with a very obvious swollen lip. I wanted so badly to ask her what happened- bee sting? Allergic reaction? Despite my tendency to be a little nosy in situations like those, I went with my better judgment and did not ask but rather smiled in her direction and got ready for the lecture. Not five minutes later, she asked the teacher if she could make an announcement to the class. She stood up and proceeded to explain to the class exactly what I had been wondering- how she received such a battle wound. I thought I knew what she was going to say: something along the lines of "my roommate and I were having a pillowfight and my lip caught her hand during an intense moment", or even "ultimate frisbee got a little out of hand at Family Home Evening." But No. She told a sordid tale of some karate-chopping grizzly bear that hit her in the face. The story could've stopped there, but No again. She explained that the grizzly bear had been beamed in front of her apartment by a pack of up-to-no-good alien invaders, and she, being the most brave and kindhearted of her apartment, went outside to save the day. It was a heroic effort, but the sheer mass and strength of this black belt bear was too much for her to overpower. She took one massive hit to the lip and was knocked out. She then cautioned everyone to watch out for flying saucers and then took her seat.
I felt really good about that story, especially because the truth is still unknown. Her lip has since returned to normalcy, which is boring. I thought for a split second about hiring someone to dress up in a bear suit and give her a black eye just so I could listen to another story. I still might do it.